Entry: Open Field

my car driving past, the hum of the motor, and the rotation of spinning wheels. the air flowing inside, both windows opened, pass the field, growing cornstalks, the sky half vieled in clouds, half expansive, in dark, storm setting colours. clouds mixing with the clearness of non-existant churning, that tells us, soon the rains must come, must water the Earth. virgined cornstalks surrounded by trees, a silent whisper of wind, no birds moving, not flying, no wings spreading. a stop, a rest. further moving. i approached the landscapes of mini-city, but how i begin to notice, the discovery of my living place; of my breathing. and the space in which i live, or inhabit, it is the heart; i feel its lungs respirate, as i felt or still feel somewhat small. but how my mini-cityscape further enlarges my opinion of what i am... i was lost between the calm serenity of the open field, and so quickly, not even several minutes later, how i became lost in the dizzying array of cars that sped by me, and the large amounts of businesses i had never fully discovered until then. and how the cars that sped by me, created an artificial wind, and how they sped by me. i was in the middle of the lane, feelings of all continents converging. and all the time, the mechanical beings were breathing by me. it was a kind of refreshment, where my eyes were frozen; they could not move, and the sounds of the accompaniment of the music i was hearing put me in a state of transcendence. i was experiencing the median, the heart of where i was living, and i felt as small; a parcel of the entire picture. it was a lonely happiness, being frozen there in the middle of suburbia. if a god was alive, he was inside of me that very moment, for where i had lived, was living, am living, and will live, i suppose i will further discover myself again when i age, and i again embark over all the empty fields and landscapes i dream and plan to tread upon. perhaps finding out that if god didn't exist, i suppose i would not do anything, i would go about the normalcy. but i will answer the question of what is god, but something that spins around in my soul and makes itself known to me with mental states of transcendence....
it was the half hour of field, of continuous road, of mini suburbia that i will always strive for; when the god of my soul will arise to feel in bliss with the environment that surrounds him and the state of absorption of feeling the winds of the world on him; and the breath of the planet, at times, a reek of shit, at other times, a smell of crystal clear rain, or of sparkling sun, of dried desert, and of flavoured grass, never dull, always enlightening...
today i had embraced myself, and i let the environment embrace me. this is my discovery, i will not let go with a single movement. my hands are intact around the globe of my fears, hopes, and frustrations. the loss of the world is mine, the gain is mine, and i now am hopeful, and in tune. my gaze has been transfixed. i am in equilibrium, thanks to a silent field, with more of a song than heard by any human or animal ear...the field that had sparked equilibrium.