life

i've recently moved from my hometown to a university, only a 40 minute drive from the place where i grew up. i am 1 and 1 half hours from chicago and the dormitory i live in stands erect like a protruding missile of a penis into the sky, upon entering my city you can see this landmark sticking out of the dead ground, it serves as a marking point for the biggest dormitory complex in the state. i navigate elevators every day to my classes, the elevators being full of people with countless chatter. a multitude of cunts and all of them with nothing interesting to speak, a gathering of boys and all of them with nothing interesting to say, they wear their hats and backwards and concern themselves with alcohol and fucking anything in their eye vision with two legs and no brain. i remain quiet and impatient in the elevators only to come back to my room where i fancy myself with reading octavio paz or listening to sigur ros at the emerging of a night moon creeping into my window. i sleep with the window open sometimes and my ears are given the noise of outside to pollute inside of my dreams. sometimes the scream of drunks on the street and the sound of cars riding the veins of the road. as of lately, i have been hearing strange carnival or circus music emitting from the outside of my window or the sound of church bells. unknowingly, i invite them into my dreams and they plague my mind. my roommate, i have one, always arrives home late and utters prayers in his sleep and sometimes quiet laughter if a succubus were in his room and tickling the tiny nails of his feet. i, last night like a drunkard, half asleep hit my head on the wall and proceeded to say "ouch," in which, i felt the landscape of my head for the appearance of a bump, which, apparently, did not grow onto me.
i shower during the night time and then i lie down, there i sleep, there i get up, there i eat breakfast, there i go to my classes, there i eat lunch, and there i talk with my girlfriend and read.


weekends i am with my girlfriend, staying with her, being free, talking with her, and laughing with her, this is when i am at ease, when i am at the university i still feel alienated. when i am with her i am at the sense of my being, at the sense of what i am.
so far we get this; university=my student life, hardly working, receiving good scores, writing, and listening
weekends away from university=my love life, my splendor, my joy, my passion, my cry, my hope, my blood.

yeah, i am growing into what i want to be, and what i want to be is more than i could ever hope to want to be....

FIN